This site will look much better in a browser that supports web standards, but it is accessible to any browser or Internet device.

Tie Me Up With Handcuffs

Sung to the melody of "Tie a Yellow Ribbon," as performed by Tony Orlando and Dawn. This version mangled exclusively by Evel Karaoke.

My diaper's on, I'm filled with joy, 'cause I've been a very naughty little boy.
Miss, you've received my payment, so please bend me over your knee.
Because you know just what it is that I need done to me: heavy B and D.

Oh, tie me up with handcuffs 'round your old headboard.
I'm a masochist; that's all I can afford.
If I don't see those handcuffs 'round your headboard,
I'll masturbate, forget about our date, forget we ever whored,
If I don't see those handcuffs on that old headboard.

Dear madame please be cruel to me; I'd love to try your hand at sodomy.
I'm glad you brought your bullwhip; it's one of my favorite things.
An evil dominatrix with a set of nipple rings.
Oh, what a stiffy it brings. Everybody sing.

Oh, tie me up with handcuffs 'round your old headboard.
I'm a masochist; that's all I can afford.
If I don't see those handcuffs 'round your headboard,
Then I'll be gone, forget I was your john, forget we ever whored.
If I don't see those handcuffs on that old headboard.

Now my body's numb and tingly 'cause I can't believe I scored.
A fully equipped torture dungeon 'round the old headboard.
Woo haa...I ain't comin' home tonight, mama.

Site graphics and parody lyrics
Copyright 2003 Evel Karaoke

All rights to song lyrics written and performed by others remain the property of their copyright holders. We confess responsibility for only the parody versions.