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Limp

Sung to the melody of "Lump," as performed by The Presidents of the United States of America. This version mangled exclusively by Evel Karaoke.

Limp dick, alone in my underpants
Totally motionless, I never had a chance
Nothin' happenin' in my pajamas
Here come another night of bedroom traumas

It's limp! It's limp! It's in my pants!
It's limp! It's limp! Can't make it dance!

Limp dick got a head, but got no brains
Can't get no action, no matter how I strain
Small thing, so sad, so soft, so bland
No matter if she use her mouth or her hand

It's limp! It's limp! Can't raise its head!
It's limp! It's limp! "Oi think it's dead!" ("No, I'm not!")

Limp dick was lonely 'n' needin' some love
Wouldn't take a stand when pushin' came to shove
Couldn't pitch a tent in between the sheets
She'd dump my ass...'cept she loves to watch me EAT!

It's limp! It's limp! It's in my pants!
It's limp! It's limp! Can't make it dance!

Will this limp dick ever rise? I don't know
Could it bring tears to your eyes? I think so
Even YOU laugh at my size! What a blow!
Fuck Viagara—gimme Miracle Gro!

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Copyright 2003 Evel Karaoke

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