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I'm a Lesbian

Sung to the melody of "I'm the Only One," as performed by Melissa Etheridge. This version mangled exclusively by Evel Karaoke.

We all wondered who's Melissa and Julie's kids' dad
They went in to the doctor, but nobody fucked her
He shot it in a lab
The day we found out I just thought, "Respect their wish"
But it wasn't Brad Pitt, well now don't that beat shit
Who jerked off in that petrie dish

It was a fossil from the '69 Woodstock
A guy whose arteries are harder than his cock

'Cuz she's a lesbian with children and a family
Lou Diamond Phillips must be askin', "What is wrong with me?"
It's only penis that you shun, and semen that you're hiding from
David Crosby scores a hole in one with a lesbian

Please people, understand, we want our privacy
So just leave us alone and we'll tell Rolling Stone
And we'll flaunt our celebrity
Imagine if the world came to an end today
If Elton and I were the only survivors
We'd never repopulate

Ellen DeGeneres will make Ann Heche squirm
"Get Marlon Brando off and then we'll freeze his sperm!"

'Cuz I'm a lesbian with children and a family
No hairy testicles will ever find their way near me
It's only penis that I shun, and semen that I'm hiding from
'Cuz only women make me come; I'm a lesbian

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Copyright 2003 Evel Karaoke

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