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Evel Karaoke - The Bland Lunch Project

500 Bucks

Sung to the melody of "(I'm Gonna Be) 500 Miles," as performed by the Proclaimers. This version mangled exclusively by Evel Karaoke.

When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man not wakin' next to you.
And my wallet, well I know it's gonna be,
It's gonna be wherever it is you are, too.

And I would pay 500 bucks, and I would pay 500 more
Just to be like Charlie Sheen and spend a grand on Heidi Fleiss' whores.

When I'm hummin', well I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the one who's hummerin' with you.
And when I'm crabby, well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the one who's got crabby from you.

And I would pay 500 bucks, and I would pay 500 more
Just to be like Charlie Sheen and spend a grand on Heidi Fleiss' whores.

Bend 'em over (spread 'em open), spread 'em open (bend 'em over)
Do you like it like it like it like I do?
Bend 'em over (spread 'em open), spread 'em open (bend 'em over)
Do you like it like it like it like I do?

When I'm horny, well you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the one who'se horny just for you.
When you're busted, we you know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the one with bail money for you.
I'm gonna be the one with bail money for you.

And I would pay 500 bucks, and I would pay 500 more
Just to be like Charlie Sheen and spend a grand on Heidi Fleiss' whores.

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